Satire Science Fiction cyberpunk absurd retro beachpunk surfing

Gnarly Times at Nana'ite Beach

By KJ Kabza
Jan 10, 2019 · 7,434 words · 28 minutes

From the author: Dirk Rider and the Coastal Gang are the biggest jerks on the beach, and Dusty Yokoyama is determined to beat them in the Malihini Junior Surf-Off contest. Luckily, maverick surfboard-maker and local legend Zhaoping Ho wants none other than Dusty, "the Mayor of Loserville," to use one of his mysterious prototypes in the competition. What makes the prototype so special? Will Dusty catch a totally tubular wave and the attention of all—or even any—okay, just one—hot girl?

South of the Big Island, on the famous nano'd beach of Malihini—because really, what else is south of the Big Island?—Dusty Yokoyama strolled across the Smart sand, pushing out his chest and hoping the girls wanted to bang him.

Hoping? No. Knowing. Yeah, they were looking at him, at his Mojo wet suit and brand-new board (bought on sale at GoodBuy—but shh, don't tell anyone). Dusty ran a hand through his newly waterproofed hair, so they could see how the 4-micron-thick polymer layer made it...

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