Literary Fiction Romance death poetry Grief love poem Mourning


By Ben Serna-Grey
Apr 3, 2019 · 253 words · 1 minute

From the author: A bleak love poem originally published in the erstwhile With Candlelight on May 10, 2017. I hope those dudes are doing alright. The idea was to write a love poem that wasn't the usual platitudes. Someone who hopes they were loved enough that those who love them would be wracked with grief when they died, because they would feel the same if their lover died.

I wish that I could say

When I die, my love

Scatter my ashes, forget about me, live your life

But I am weak and bitter

I want you to carry me

As heady heavy burden

Be crushed by grief

If I can’t destroy you with my passing

Did I ever really matter?


Do we and did we love each other,

Do I love you?

I think I do in some small way

The kind that stays as hot and throbbing need

Or cold, weighted fact

Earth loves the sun because it needs, yes

But any sun would do

Were you another I would still

But you are here so I do


When I die, my love

I want to rot next to you in bed

Putrefaction ruining what was once familiar

Filth and pain killing you as well

I want to kill you

Put my plot in the front yard

Look at it every day

As reminder that what once was

Everything routine

Everything comforting


Is gone


In a way we’ve ruined one another

As these things are wont to do

We are left only with the realization

Not either of us will have made a mark

Except on the jaded surface of our own normalcy


When I die, my love


Eat my ashes

Sob when you glance over at the empty spaces

Or the absence of noise from the living room

Bray anguish like a hurt animal

And die

I would for you,

My love

This story originally appeared in With Candlelight.

Ben Serna-Grey

Ben Serna-Grey is working through some stuff, often by way of worryingly depressed robots.