Horror Humor Satire

Dear Editor

By Amy Sisson
Apr 23, 2018 · 314 words · 2 minutes

Photo by Clark Young via Unsplash.

From the author: A concerned citizen expresses his doubts about a certain demonic practice that has had . . . unintended consequences.


Dear Editor,

I am writing to implore your Gracious Readers to cease the abominable practice of using Hellhounds to safeguard their Daughters' virtue.  Although I understand the need, in these morally ambiguous times, to ensure that our Daughters are not led astray by dishonorable Young Men who seek temporary pleasures of the flesh rather than the sanctified bond of matrimony, I draw attention to several recent events in which a Hellhound has not only rendered the offending Young Man into bits of flesh (which is assuredly not pleasurable), but has then prevented any man whosoever from approaching the Young Lady, even her own Father or attending Priest.  Surely the infamous massacre at the Forster-Ingram wedding at Salisbury Cathedral last month, resulting in the deaths of the Bridegroom, the Priest, and several male guests, will convince even the strictest father to return to a more traditional means of chaperonage.

Furthermore, I am painfully aware of at least one instance in which the magical bonding itself rebounded upon its subjects with disastrous consequences.  Whilst not at liberty to divulge the Young Lady's name, I feel compelled to report that a certain Miss D---- of -----shire was last seen, as witnessed by a trusted maidservant, running from the family estate at midnight in the company of her Hound.  Miss D----'s nightdress, hands, and face were covered in blood, and a poor stable boy was found the next morning, mangled almost beyond recognition.  The Hound itself, as reported by the maidservant, did not appear to have blood on its muzzle, pointing to the most unwelcome conclusion that the Young Lady herself has now become a Demon-Creature of Hell.

In conclusion, I must remind your Gracious Readers that if the deplorable practice of Hellhound Chaperonage is continued, our Daughters' virtue will be endangered, not as we originally feared, but rather in previously unimaginable ways.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

- End -

This story originally appeared in Havok.